Well, I was asked to speak at a women's event at our church about marriage and children, and to be honest, I didn't say a quarter of what I wanted to say, or even get to the point that I wanted to get to, and that's REALLY frustrating. But really, who can get to anything in five minutes!! Not this girl. Anyways, because I have this handy platform and an anonymous audience, I will now say what I want. So, if you want to read about marriage, carry on. If you don't, go ahead and click that handy "x" in the right hand corner :)
It is not often that I actually talk about marriage, which is kind of interesting, because of the two topics, marriage and children, I have far more experience with marriage than children. So you would think I would talk about it more...but I think it is one of those things that you get comfortable with, and to be honest, we are comfortable in our (almost (sheesh!!!)) 10th year of marriage. We know each other really well, and sure, we mess up occasionally, but we don't really mess up big anymore.
I can remember the first few years of being married, everyone always telling us that we were still 'newlyweds' and we didn't really know much, and now that I have a bit more perspective, of course they were basically right. I know we did a lot of things right, however. I know, because, well, we are still married. And sadly, there are MANY of our counterparts, who married around the same time as us who didn't make it. And that makes my heart sad. While I got married young, I am for sure a fan of waiting to get married. When I got married at 19, I had no idea who I actually was, what I really wanted in life, or where I was even going.
Luckily for me, my husband is a stabilizing force in my life. Ok, so my real point about marriage? Past choosing each other every day, and being best friends? Which, by the way, love is a choice (and therefore staying married is, of course, also a choice) that we have to make every day. Do I always feel like loving my husband? Of course not!!! I am human! I have bad days and days that I am not especially nice and lovely to be around. The difference for us is that at the end of the day, we are truly friends, and as the years pass, we become more and more solid in that friendship. I can get really mad at my husband, and be really upset about a choice he made or something he says. But I have a hard time staying really mad at my friend. The one who knows me better than I do myself most of the time.
Be good to each other.
That is my point. If you can just be especially good to each other, even when you don't feel like it, even when it's hard, and even when you are feeling lonely and unloved. Be really good to each other. Go out of your way to meet his/her needs. Do they get up early and head to work? Get up with them, make their lunch and their coffee for them. Kiss them before they leave. Make them muffins/cookies/cake/lasagna/whatever their favorite thing that they love but don't get often. Text them throughout the day to say hi. Do things for them that they appreciate, even if it isn't reciprocated right away.
Try to remember that they are the person you picked. The one you were sure was The One, even though, 10 years later, he still leaves is socks all over the place, and wet towels on the floor. Don't let yourself get petty. Be really good to each other. Regardless of if there is ever a turn around (there always is), the point is that doing good makes you feel good, and them feel loved. And what is the important thing? He is. Zach is the important thing. He is the one I am doing life with. Not the house, not the kids, not the dirty socks. Zach. And making him feel good and important to me is a priority.
So be really good to each other.
