No one would ever...

As a logical adult (well, most of the time), I often trip myself up as a parent because it won't occur to me that a kid would do certain things. A perfect example of this happened on my last grocery shopping trip with Bishop and Cadence. The shopping itself was uneventful. We get everything loaded up and head out to the car. Bishop has this thing were I let him 'help' me unload the groceries into the back of my Blazer while he is in there. So I toss him in, put Cadence in her car seat, and then go to transfer groceries from cart to car. I get the first couple of bags in, when I hear a high pitched scream from the back. I turn, and there is Bishop, with a battery cable clamp stuck on his tongue. And honestly, my first response was to laugh. I did jump in to save him (and his tongue) but I was laughing the whole time.

I am sure anyone watching would think I am a terrible mother for not being more concerned. I mean, Bishop just clamped a very large alligator-like clamp on his tongue. And my response is to laugh?

The problem is that I know the child. And he has a propensity to clamp things on his tongue. Which makes absolutely no sense after doing it once. It never ends well, so I am not sure what the motivation here is. I mean, he screams and cries every time, whether its a cloths pin, bobby pin, hair clip, hair claw, and now, a battery cable clamp. What does he expect to happen here?

Clamp + tongue/lips= pain. Every. Single. Time.

Which is where the logic trips me up. I knew the battery cables were in there. We had to jump my car because a certain toddler had turned on my headlights while pretending to drive it earlier that day. I just never imagined he would attempt to clamp his tongue. Clamp on face=bad. But apparently it is all uncharted territory for a 3 year old. There is a disconnect somewhere in his brain. Maybe I need to stop saving him and just let him live with something stuck to his face for a while (a smaller clamp, clearly. The battery cable one could do some real damage, as it is about the size of his face itself).

I will be surprised if he makes it to 10 without a couple broken bones. Or a possible lip/tongue surgery.