What has my life become?

For all of you that know, today is Cadence's 2nd birthday. And though you might imagine this post would be dedicated to her, there is a larger problem facing the Ivey family that I feel must be spoken of...

Tonight, while putting away things from my afternoon shopping trip, I found a frog on one of the bags.
A real, live one.

At first, I thought it was one of Bishop toy plastic ones, because it was about the same size and color as one he has had for a while, so I mostly ignored it. Then I bumped the bag it was on, and it moved. Upon a closer (not physically, just longer) inspection, I realized that it was, indeed, a real frog, happily sitting on my Target bag. I promptly left, went into the kitchen, grabbed a cheap Tupperware, punched holes in the lid, and went back to catch the frog (I am the only adult home, and my children need protected). Clearly, I am a caring person, since I punched holes in the lid of a perfectly usable Tupperware for the darn thing.

As I decide how to go about catching it, I decide it needs to get off the bag, so I nudge the bag a bit, and it jumps off, and under my couch. That's right. Under my couch.

It is time to call in reinforcements.
So I call Zach.
And this is where things get hairy.

Because it is Zach's frog.
That he lost over a MONTH AGO! AND DIDN'T TELL ME HE HAD LOST IT!

He claims he did so to prevent me from freaking out like I am now, and I feel that I may have been better prepared to come face to face with a frog if I had know it had existed. I am now rethinking every time I just stuck my foot in my shoe, or ran my hand under the couch to check for spare toys gone astray.

So, my couch and I have been having a stare down for the last couple hours, where I stand at a safe distance and monitor it for any frog movement. So far, none.

And according to Zach, he sort of forgot the frog was loose in our house, and thought it would have turned up in the bathroom. Uh, even worse. If I was taking a shower and the frog hopped in for a little drink, I may have acted less humanely. More in the form of screaming and slapping/throwing things at it.

If I had know it was missing, we would have FOUND IT LONG BEFORE NOW!!
And for all who are wondering, the frog will be found before he comes to bed tonight.

The end.