The on-going lesson of manners

As an adult, there are many things that I do everyday without really thinking about it. Certain things that you just don't say in public (because we aren't some of THOSE people, dear). Certain things that you just don't do. Because I am polite. Because I have manners. Because...I am not actually sure why we do some of the things we do, actually. 

And it is really complicated to explain the why of things to my always inquisitive 5-year-old. Bishop is finally getting the "Yes, Ma'am/No, Ma'am" and he is constantly holding the door open for us helpless females (sometimes long enough that people have asked him if he is coming or going, and he usually just points out that his sister has lost her sunglasses/purse/ring/lip gloss/shoe/sticker/mind and she and Mom are frantically tossing the car looking for that one all important item). He is such a sweet boy. 

And here is where the but comes in. I would say over the last several months, he has started mentioning things that he smells. Sometimes, I am pretty sure he just makes stuff up in his endless need to never stop talking, but sometimes, he mentions things in public. And this is where it gets tricky. Because really, pointing out the amazing aroma of coffee on the coffee is 100% acceptable, but pointing out the aroma of fart while following someone? Yeah, maybe not. And that actually happened this past Monday in Walmart. We have talked several times about how it's not ok to point things out (out loud) about people, and that includes smells. However, there we were, on the peanut butter aisle, near a group of people, when my dear sweet boys suddenly gets a whiff of something...

"Mom, do you smell something?"

"Nope, I sure don't." 

"Mom, it smells like...*sniff*sniff*...fart!!"

"Ok, Bishop, that's enough."

"But Mom! I think that guy farted!" (As he points to a heavy guy on a motor scooter (great, now we are targeting people who can't walk)). 

"Bishop, that is more than enough"

"No, wait...I think it might be someone else...but someone here farted." (Which he loudly announced to the group as a whole)

(this would be the point that I get down on his level and say very slowly and quietly)

"Bishop. Lee. Ivey. If I hear you say one more thing about what you smell, you are getting spanked, and we are leaving. Do you understand?" 

"Yes, Ma'am."

After we walked away (with the people staring accusingly at eachother-hey someone back there farted.), I tell him, "Bishop, it is not nice to talk about all the things you smell. It might hurt someone's feelings if you point out that they smell bad. Would you like if someone said you farted?"

"But if I farted, I would'a told them already." 

Which is an excellent point, since he mentions anything his body is currently or might be doing in the near future. 

"Well, it's just not nice to do to someone else. You need to stop mentioning if someone smells bad, ok?"

But really, and I know in his mind, this makes no sense. And while I would love to fall back on the 'even if it doesn't make sense, you don't do it' attitude, I really think it's important for him to get that it might hurt someone's feelings- like his sister's. Maybe someday, when he is older, he will think farting is embarrassing. But let's be realistic, he is a boy, so it will probably never happen. I would just like if he wouldn't mention it loudly in public. Sheesh. Boys.