Wednesday, July 24, 2013

A five year old

The leader of the Mom's Group I attend used to often comment that the thing about kids is they are always changing. Once you finally get something down and working, the kid changes again, and there you are, with a new situation you have to learn to deal with. Think the first 3 months were tough? Finally got the baby sleeping through the night? BAM!! Something changes, and you are back to square one, trying to figure out this thing we do as parents. It is both frustrating and satisfying to see your kids grow and change, learn new things, and bring new challenges. This is all a fancy way of me saying that Bishop's 5th year has not been my favorite so far. Yeah, we are only 3-ish months in, but I am ready to throw in the towel. Or maybe just throw the towel AT him. 

Yeah, that might work to...if the towel was more like a shoe...or a ball. 

Not unlike every other year along the way, there is a magical transformation that happens around Bishop's birthday where he matures a bit more, learns new things, or starts a new behavior.

This year, we have picked up a few delightful ones, like lying to get out of trouble, and being amazingly disobedient. I know all kids have their disobedient moments, and this is a kiddo who is typically VERY cooperative and usually just flows along with things. 

Not so much at 5. 

Yesterday was a perfect example. 

As I was making dinner, Cadence and Bishop were running around outside, with Zach *mostly* monitoring them in the front yard. Now, when the kids are running around in the backyard, I am way more willing to just let them be, and not check every few minutes. But the front yard is a whole other animal. We do live on a nice street, with several families of kids who all play well together, and we all keep an eye on each others kids, so that's nice. I am more worried that someone could just grab my children off the sidewalk, or they will go too far down the street and fall into traffic on the INCREDIBLY busy Kimberly Rd. 

So, after a couple of minutes, I decide to poke me head outside, and sure enough, there is Cadence, happily playing with her toys in the grass, and no Bishop. So I yell for him, expecting him to come around the side of the house, or down the sidewalk.

And I yell again. And again. And no Bishop. So I tell Zach that I can't find Bishop, and to come help me look. So I jog down to Kimberly Rd, planning on murdering him if he is wandering that far, and still, no sign of him. Zach heads the opposite way down the street towards Bishop's buddy's house. Which, honestly, I should have gone to first. Sure enough, I head down there as well, and Bishop is happily playing in his bud's backyard. 

Now, the rule is, if Bishop is going to JB's house, he has to ask first if he is going anywhere but the front yard where I can see him from our porch. So we send Bishop home, and come to find out from Zach, Bishop had asked if he could go to JB's and Zach had told him no. And he decided to go anyways.

As B get's older, we have had to change our parenting style and have to get more creative. 

So after B spent some time in his room, we had him come talk to us. He very honestly told us that he knew he wasn't supposed to go to JB's house, and wanted to play, so he went over anyways.

We had him tell us what he thought the consequence should be. Which...was not helpful, because he first thought that he should get to go play again (yeah, right), then he decided he should get to be in time-out for a couple of minutes (uh...totally not fitting the crime and heart attack you gave me). Then he thought going to his room for a while would be fitting (uh, yeah, cause all his toys are in there...no). 

So since he wasn't really coming up with anything we felt fitting, and was mostly whining, we decided that he could go clean his room until dinner (which was now burned, thanks to the search), and for the next week, he isn't allowed to play in the front yard. Which doesn't seem like such a big deal, but that includes no bike, and no playing with neighbor friends. Which are two of his favorite things. But, if I can't trust him to tell me when he is going somewhere, then he can't be outside by himself. 

Oh 5...you are not my favorite.